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Re: We Want Ewe!

By CrazySexyBeast
7/11/2022 4:45 pm
Currently @ 2036 REGULAR WK 1
League is in its 19th season.
Custom team options available during offseason, Admin paid.

Available Teams: (6)
American Conference
Kansas City: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/4
Jacksonville: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/14

National Conference
Arizona (formally South Brisbane): https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/23
Detroit: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/25
Green Bay: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/27
Tampa Bay: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/31

*Cap can be reset upon request if necessary for new GMs within the first 24 hrs of team ownership. One time offer. Must PM Admin.

FREE offseason team customization!!!


League Home: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/
League Rules/Settings: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/forums/1/198?page=1#1337

Re: We Want Ewe!

By CrazySexyBeast
7/21/2022 6:10 am
yummy

Re: We Want Ewe!

By CrazySexyBeast
8/05/2022 5:40 pm
https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/

Re: We Want Ewe!

By CrazySexyBeast
8/17/2022 9:10 pm
Is This the Apocalypse?

Not quite…
Welcome to the 2036 Dark Horses of Destiny round of the National Football League playoffs! After slugging it out in the mud bogs between the trenches, we finally have the horses in the starting gate for the Crown.

Not a single gelding was to be found. Every team is ready to play ball.

Busting out of the starting gate this Saturday, fans get a chance to enjoy the Buffalo Bills (JB90) on the road at Pittsburgh (trslick) to open the festivities. Pittsburgh, 8-8 in the regular season after going 12-4 in 2035 is the underdog against the Bills, even with the game being played in Pittsburgh. Meanwhile, Buffalo, after going 2-14 in 2034, have been playing with determination since acquiring new ownership in 2035 - going 23-8 since. However, that has yet to lead the Bills into the Eager Eight. This might be their year.

The afternoon game showcases the Las Vegas Raiders (raidergreg69) returning to the Dark Horse round against Jacksonville. Jacksonville, bought midseason by recent NFT tycoon Mudducky04, has actually performed worse under their new ownership in the second half of the season. Expectedly, the Raiders are favored by 10 at home under a Nevada state gaming commission casino broadcast blackout. Who doesn’t own a Mudducky NFT, I have #910 (“one after 909” and 1 of 1,000,000!)?? Also, my editor tells me I need to tell you I bet that NFT on Jacksonville to win by 15 for legal purposes.
Writer’s Note: Ok, he said if they get sued, I get fired. Whatever. Pretty sure I can claim bots are responsible for any future financial losses I may incur after making any prior legal and public monetary commitments…
(Editor’s note: Backing out of a verbal contract is not legally permissible once a so-called gentlemen's agreement becomes legally binding via any and all mutual agreement(s) through established public record(s). However, our contract with the writer of this article is directly and specifically legally binding regarding perceived and/or actual biases related to sports betting. You bet they are fired Monday.)

As the dusk begins to settle, fans will be treated to New England (TeamCleaner3000) - a league run team, against Indianapolis (CrazyRazor) on the exclusive MFN Channel and MFN web stream only available to cable subscribers. New England, bought by the league during the offseason 2035-36 off season as a “team under duress that is detrimental to the league,” is actually even with Indy. Unfortunately for Hoosiers everywhere, Indy’s owner recently revealed they are leaving professional sports ownership in pursuit of planting cabbages across the Sahara. Rich people are rich people, and this writer wishes them the very best. Nothing wrong with continuing to get a head…

On Sunday, fans will have to get up extra early to watch Philadelphia (Endicottprime) scuffling in the green fields of San Francisco (pparrish1622)(-2). When asked about their last matchup on press day - which SF lost in overtime 9-12 November 9th resulting in starting QB Lawrence Anderson being benched for 2 weeks, Head Coach Charles Vasquez replied: “First, I wanted to clear up the rumors and note very clearly that we have full confidence in Lawrence Anderson and his abilities to get the job done when it comes to it. We have been doing a lot to make sure that on both sides of the ball we sure up our team going into this one. It will definitely be a team effort and this is basically a whole new game and season for the playoffs. I know Philadelphia Is a formidable opponent but I believe we got what it takes. I am excited to see what the team brings to the table here!”

The afternoon game (kickoff @ 4 PM EDT only on Amazon Prime) will be a wild ride as Albuquerque - favored by 2 touchdowns - takes on Atlanta (athabasca) at The Kiva in the ‘Burque. No longer called "the Q" for incredibly obvious reasons, Albuquerque (CrazySexyBeast) heads into the playoffs with their offensive and defensive lines in the infinite tangents of injuries.
“We’ve been able to scrap it together the last few weeks, but our lack of production inside the 30 shows we’ve been struggling” stated head coach Benjamin Hart. “I’m in my 7th year here in the Land of Entrapment, and I’ve never seen my trenches this dry.”

The Monday night endcap brings us Dallas (ArmoredGiraffe)(-12) at home against Minnesota (ricmoney). As of the time of publishing, Dallas' PR department had yet to provide a response to this dedicated, and heir-apparent employment eligible, reporter.







Currently @ 2036 DARK HORSES OF DESTINY
League is in its 19th season.
Custom team options available during offseason, Admin paid.

Available Teams: (4)
American Conference
None Available

National Conference
Seattle: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/24
Detroit: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/25
Green Bay: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/27
Tampa Bay: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/31

*Cap can be reset upon request if necessary for new GMs within the first 24 hrs of team ownership. One time offer. Must PM Admin.

FREE offseason team customization!!!


League Home: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/
League Rules/Settings: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/forums/1/198?page=1#1337
Last edited at 8/17/2022 9:21 pm

Re: We Want Ewe!

By CrazySexyBeast
8/21/2022 7:46 pm
“It was a dark and stormy night.”
~Snoopy


…but not in Dallas. Led by RBs’ John Nguyen and Leonard Cothen, Dallas (ArmoredGiraffe) waltzed their way to over 251 rushing yards in a crushing 23-9 victory over Minnesota (ricmoney) to conclude the Dark Horses of Destiny weekend (BOX: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/box/6320). They now head into the Eager Eight favored by a field goal against the Albuquerque Nukes (CrazySexyBeast). Albuquerque, on the rare playoff road trip, looks to continue their streak of 8 Crowns upon reaching the Eager Eight.
“It’s gonna be tough,” replied Dallas HC Gilbert Talor. “We got big things here in Texas, and Big Money is a big thing. There’s a lotta big bets out there from our biggest fans. It’s huge that ownership gave me two big backs to do the biggest job in the NFL under the current offensive rules - which is run for big yards. It’s such a big game, and we expect big things outta our “Large Marge” offense here in the big, beautiful state of Texas.”

Saturday’s evening game brings us an exciting AC matchup with NFL owned New England traveling to #1 seed Miami (LegendRuthless). After a surprising and decisive win in Indianapolis (CrazyRazor) in the first round, New England remains the definitive underdog heading into the contest. Miami, which put up a league leading 36.25 ppg with 580 total offensive points, is taking the high road when it comes to past laurels. In a recent interview with newly relaunched Crème magazine, office custodian Perry Ocides reflected: “Ah... well, you know, you go out there and you give a 110%, and you wanna play good, and, you know, you hope you play good…”
It will be interesting to see which team has their season flushed by Sunday morning.

Sunday afternoon, just in time to feel the belt-loosening impact of that all u can eat bacon feast at the corner Village Sin - err, Inn, fans will be treated to #4 San Francisco (pparrish1622) @ #1 Chicago (brxnivy).
During a league-wide public access Zoom press conference (Sponsored by Buy Polar Vortex Rehydration Supplementations - So bold, so cold), Head Coach Dan Hadley acknowledged: “We have to play much better than we did in Week 16 against San Francisco. We caught them with a big play coming out of halftime (VIDEO: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/watch/6308#1088700) and that was the difference in (a) close game. If we play to our potential we can advance but they will pounce on any miscues and send us home early. Regular season records don’t matter, we need to go out and earn the victory.”

The NFL’s second round begins its end with the coin flip in Las Vegas. The Raiders (raidergreg69), which barely and brutally escaped a home game against Jacksonville (Mudducky04) 14-11 in last weeks’ Dark Horses of Destiny, are favored by 11 against Pittsburgh. Even without starting QB Trevor Anderson, who broke his leg in the now infamous “Fibula Fumble Fiasco” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sCWW2KKqNP8), the rushing reliant Raiders should be able to beat the spread against the declining Pittsburgh (trslick) roster (and resulting 8-8 regular season record).

Tune in next week for all the details about how all the boughs break next week, only here at Slate Productions - “Where rock-solid reporting solves the schisms of Sports.”
**special thanks to owners who gave quotes for publication.



*NFL video rights held by the real life National Football League.




Currently @ 2036 Eager Eight
League is in its 19th season.
Custom team options available during offseason, Admin paid.

Available Teams: (5)
American Conference
None Available

National Conference
Arizona: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/23
Seattle: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/24
Detroit: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/25
Green Bay: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/27
Tampa Bay: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/31

*Cap can be reset upon request if necessary for new GMs within the first 24 hrs of team ownership. One time offer. Must PM Admin.

FREE offseason team customization!!!


League Home: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/
League Rules/Settings: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/forums/1/198?page=1#1337

Choose your own Aardvark terms! Err… Adventure (turn to page 45).
Zod bless autocorrect. Ya’ R’amen!
Last edited at 8/21/2022 7:48 pm

Re: We Want Ewe!

By CrazySexyBeast
8/26/2022 4:17 pm
2036 CROWN SHOWDOWN

It was a grueling regular season, difficult for some while rewarding for others. Ultimately, only one team will claim the Crown.

Glancing at the betting lines, folks tend to think it will be Chicago (brxnivy). Favored by 8 and facing AC Champion Miami (Legendruthless) in Somewheresville, Somewhere, fans will be treated to the 2 best offensive teams in the NFL.

In a good-old fashioned battle of the league’s best passing offense (MIA 296 ypg) against the league’s best rushing offense (CHI 214 ypg), Sunday’s game will be full of surprises. “I don't know what those guys in Vegas are smoking, making us an 8 point favorite,” said Head Coach Dan Hadley between bites of shrimp-grits and toast. “Have you seen the offensive numbers Miami is putting up? We're just hoping to not get embarrassed. If we get lucky we keep it close and steal the game late."
Defense is sure to play a huge role Sunday night, and that is where Chicago holds the advantage. The second stingiest D in football only permitted 110 points from their opponents during the 2036 regular season, with 19 points against over 2 games in the playoffs. Chicago’s offense was no lackey on the other side of the trench, putting up 30.3 ppg over the course of the regular season while beating both of their playoff opponents by double digits. It should be noted that once Chi-town hit the heavyweights of the National Conference, the offensive production dropped by nearly a touchdown per game.

Miami, representing the American Conference, would be the mirror image of its National Conference counterpart. A surging offense during the 2036 regular season put up a league leading 580 total points while averaging 3.7 touchdowns per game.
Although still a top 10 defensive unit (10 ppg allowed) and without a doubt no slouch, Miami has benefitted from an excellent group of DB’s grabbing almost 1.7 INT’s per contest. Both teams know the bottom line is going to be the scoreboard.
…and that is where Miami holds their key to the jewelry box and their best chance of taking the Crown. Should (and that’s a big should that could be a woulda-coulda come Monday) Miami manage to move the ball at their league leading 500+ yards per game against Chicago (176.9 yards allowed per game), they might just return back to the beach with a Cinderella style title. During the Friday night presser, first year Miami HC Eric Dukes was almost a bit too excited when asked about what he would do if they won a title. “Our goal was to win, to win a Super Bowl, but also to win in the right way, to be role models to our community, to represent Miami, the state of Florida and the National Football League.”

Until Monday, hide the checkbooks, ditch the debit cards and lock up your equity accounts - because the Crown Showdown is sure to be a knucklebuster and retirement adjuster for the losing bettors. This reporter expects an even game and wouldn't bet a bet a donated grain of sand even if I lived in the Sahara Desert.







Currently @ 2036 Crown Showdown
League is in its 19th season.
Custom team options available during offseason, Admin paid.

Available Teams: (5)
American Conference
Jacksonville: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/14
Tennessee: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/13

National Conference
Seattle: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/24
Green Bay: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/27
Tampa Bay: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/31

*Cap can be reset upon request if necessary for new GMs within the first 24 hrs of team ownership. One time offer. Must PM Admin.

FREE offseason team customization!!!


League Home: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/
League Rules/Settings: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/forums/1/198?page=1#1337

Re: We Want Ewe!

By CrazySexyBeast
9/10/2022 7:52 pm
CHICAGO STEALS CROWN JEWELS!
MIA 22; CHI 25 (OT)

Miami, playing at “home” against Chicago in Tampa Bay (Paid Attendance: 61,287/93%), took to the field ready to receive what many East Coast pundits believed would be their “Crowning” moment and a NFL 2037 Championship.

With determination, Miami (Legendruthless) opened up the scoring with a 8 minute, 16 play, 87 yard march to the endzone. In a lone moment of confusion for either team, Chicago HC Dan Hadley had to quickly recall the FG unit and put in a 4/3 2 linebacker blitz package to try to stop Miami’s 2 point conversion. They failed. Miami 8, Chicago 0. Every person watching knew at that moment that the Sunshine State brought the entire toolbox and not just the hammer.
(DRIVE: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/watch/6327#1091935)
“Not sure what that was all about, honestly” stated HC Dan Hadley in the post game press conference. “Having spoken with DC Jorge Everhart before the game, we discussed this. We discussed not putting a point after unit on the field until we saw if they were kicking or converting.”

Chicago (brxnivy) was clearly having a difficult time getting rid of the post travel fog and proceeded to take their next possession 6 plays for 16 yards and a punt. Miami QB Shaun Horton took to the field and promptly recorded the first interception of the game (https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/watch/6327#1091964). Unable to take advantage, Chicago was only able to follow up with a field goal.
MIA 8 CHI 3.

With 12:39 remaining in the second quarter, Miami again began a relentless drive towards the end zone. Chicago, overly dedicated to the OLB Flat Zone (used 7 of 8 plays) continued to remain suspect to zero and 1 TE formations and finally gave up the second TD of the Crown Showdown after an 8/75 yd drive bringing the score to 14-3. Once again Miami lined up for 2. This time Chicago’s man blitz 2 package was able to stop the conversion.
(DRIVE: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/watch/6327#1091969)

Chicago continued to putter their way through the 1st half, with offensive drives of 16/16/4/2/0/14, the two teams headed into the halftime locker room 14-6 with CHI having only scored 2 FGs, each the benefit of interceptions thrown by Miami. It seemed pretty clear that barring a seismic shift of willpower, Chicago was in serious danger of losing, and losing badly.

As Mike + the Mechanics warbled their way through an over-stressed and under amplified PA system about still needing a miracle 37 years later, Chicago was busy planning the next one and re-took the field with a renewed vigor.
Reflecting upon the moment post-game, Chicago QB Kenneth Hansen clamored; “Look it wasn’t nothing special. Coach did his thing, we refreshed ourselves with a shared tub o’ Icy Hot and a chest fridge full of Polar Vortex Rehydration Supplementations (So bold, so cold), yelled at the right time and the right things to make coach feel like a part of what we do. Deep down inside though, all I knew - and I can’t speak for the others - but all I knew was I needed to load up on the cold stuff and get my *** in gear.”

Both teams quickly came out and played punt ball to open the second half. So nice, Chicago did it twice before Miami put up the third touchdown of the game on a 43 yard run under the guards and around the zone-based defense for 6. After yet another successful 2-pt conversion, the second of the day of three attempts for Miami, the score was 22-6 in favor of MIA. Things looked dire for Chicago and the sideline was beginning to show it. The Chicago defense looked pissed. That frustration spilled over during a forced TV time out, as 13 year NFL veteran DE Roger Blount stormed his way up to OC. In a recording captured by on field cameras, Blount could be heard shouting “Y’all need to get on board, yo. We ain’t out here busting our (expletive) for y’all to go out there and play short ball. Get out there and start moving that pig. Call a (expletive) play that’s longer than 3 yards and give us time to continue the job we’ve been doing. Now, get some (expletive) cajones and move the (expletive) ball!”

Everhart merely nodded, stared at his playbook, grinned as he grabbed CHI WR Cecil Wright for a moment’s whisper and sent the offense out on the field. Beginning at their own 15 with 2:17 remaining in the third quarter, as though a new dawn had given them a fresh breath, Chicago’s offense quickly went for the gut, a 9 yard pass play, a short run and a deep throw to WR Wright for 74 yards and Chicago’s first TD of the Crown Showdown. Knowing full well everything was on the line, Chicago put out its offensive goalline formation and lined up for 2. They got it.
CHI 14. MIA 22
(DRIVE: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/watch/6327#1092050)
With 1 score separating the two teams and a full reversal of attitude on the field, it became clear that either team could grab the Crown.

After their offense went 4 and out, the MIA defense held their ground against Chicago’s next drive - 9 plays for 26 yards. With Miami finally showing some variety on defense, CHI struggled to make any long gains as they adjusted to Miami’s now frequently changing defensive play calls. The Crown Showdown settled into what seemed to be an offensive letdown as the fourth quarter trudged onward. The mistake it would take to determine the Crown suddenly occurred as CHI QB Hanson tossed an easy interception to MIA DB Frank Nauman. With 1:08 remaining in the fourth Chicago's hopes of wearing the Crown seemingly crushed, some fans began to work their way toward the exits. (https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/watch/6327#1092089)

Clearly though, as they had proven throughout the game, Chicago’s defense was not done. With the game all but over, the ball in Miami’s hands, and only 1:05 left in the Crown Showdown, Chicago’s defense came out and crushed the Miami offense in what should have been a time consuming, victory formation drive to clinch the NFL title. 3 plays. -10 yards. Out.

65 SECONDS OF HOPE

The mezzanines began to fill with a standing room only crowd of Chicagoans looking for what would be a miracle. They would absolutely be needing one in order to take home the crown. Down by 8, CHI return specialist WR Fred Lang cruised his way almost untouched behind brilliant blocking for a 34 yard return. Chicago ball on Miami’s 34. Every loan shark in Florida began to circle around the TV… Could this be it?
“The calls, they just started coming,” says Captain Beefheart (name chosen to protect anonymity), a Florida illegal sports betting agent. “I thought for sure I wouldn’t see any new action on the game - I mean, y’know… The folks I deal with, they don’t want any gains on the level, if you know what I mean. Gosh, with the internet and legal betting, who calls a bookie with 1 minute to go? So, I started taking all these bets for us (MIA) to win, like no way Chi-town is gonna wreck us with a minute to go, right? As much as I loved living in Miami Beach, turns out Tobago is awesome.”

Indeed. Chicago, against all imaginable odds, put together the most memorable play in modern NFL Crown Showdown history as Hanson hit RB Robert Morgan on the under route against an all too predictable Miami 4/3 OLB Flat Zone. Both teams dove into this play far too often, both teams suffered giving up big plays to it, but MIA suffered last.
Touchdown. 2-point conversion. Tie Game. 22-22 0:00
(DRIVE: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/watch/6327#1092096)

Overtime
"Everybody gets 15 minutes of fame." ~Andy Warhol
In 19 Crown Showdowns, no NFL title game has ever gone into overtime. After a surprising second half collapse by Miami, coupled with 2 late Chicago touchdowns and a whole lot of lady luck, suddenly the run for the jewels came down to which team scored last. New coin flip, new game.

Miami, looking weary from perhaps too many celebratory excesses during the first half’s successes, won that commemorative coin flip. Chicago’s defense, still on the hunt, prowled onto the field and settled into the 4/3 Man. After 2 quick inside runs and a failed Power I 3 back play action pass, the defense’s job was done. 3 and out, Chicago’s ball.

Taking the ball at their own 31, and knowing all they needed was a field goal to win, Chicago looked to work the clock. Moving 6 plays for 36 yards, whittling and winding their way through a myriad of Miami defensive sets over a glacial 3 minutes and 54 seconds, Belgium born K Howard Wilson took to the field. It was Wilson's first opportunity to score in the biggest game of his career. The crowd drew silent as every person on the field froze into place, the ball about to be snapped, with history about to happen before the waiting world.
(DRIVE: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/watch/6327#1092096)

When asked about what it was to be staring into what could be the unforgivable abyss of missing the 51 yard Crown clincher, facing destiny obtained yet not achieved and the potential of losing out on a lifetime of free street cart hotdogs, Wilson explained post game: “I knew what I had to do. I wasn’t too worried about the length, I've gone as deep as 58 yards. I was worried about my nerves. Worried for my foot. Was the foot ready? Was it ready to do the greatest thing a foot could ever do? Could I trust it? Could it handle a failure? I knew it could not. I love my foot. I’m so lucky I’m attached to it and charged with caring for it. I even bought it its own personal portable hot tub. I also sometimes hate it, for sometimes my foot can really stink. But, that’s football, and today my foot did it. Today, my foot is the champion of football. I love my foot, I love it so much for all it has done for me.
…and now Chicago does, too.”

CHI 25. MIA 22. FINAL (OT)

BOX: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/box/6327
LOG: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/log/6327
FILM: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/watch/6327#1091920






Currently @ 2037 LFA WEEK 2
League is in its 20th season.
Custom team options available during offseason, Admin paid.

Available Teams: (6)
American Conference
Jacksonville: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/14
Tennessee: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/13
Indianapolis: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/16

National Conference
Arizona: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/23
Green Bay: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/27
Tampa Bay: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/31

*Cap can be reset upon request if necessary for new GMs within the first 24 hrs of team ownership. One time offer. Must PM Admin.

FREE offseason team customization!!!


League Home: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/
League Rules/Settings: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/forums/1/198?page=1#1337
Last edited at 9/10/2022 8:22 pm

Re: We Want Ewe!

By CrazySexyBeast
9/21/2022 8:09 pm

Currently @ 2037 PRE SEASON MID WK 4
League is in its 20th season.
Custom team options available during offseason, Admin paid.

Available Teams: (6)
American Conference
Los Angeles (A): https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/2
Jacksonville: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/14
Indianapolis: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/16

National Conference
Arizona: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/23
Green Bay: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/27
Tampa Bay: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/31

*Cap can be reset upon request if necessary for new GMs within the first 24 hrs of team ownership. One time offer. Must PM Admin.

FREE offseason team customization!!!


League Home: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/
League Rules/Settings: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/forums/1/198?page=1#1337


Get it hot. ~Bon Scott

Re: We Want Ewe!

By CrazySexyBeast
10/27/2022 9:53 pm
bump

Re: We Want Ewe!

By TeamCleaner3000
11/14/2022 6:13 pm
Frickin' Choice team available in the OG NFL:
The Albuquerque Nukes!
https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/32